1  %title 25th April 2020 at 13:47
 2  :jrnl:
 3  %date 2020-04-25 13:47
 4  %update 2023-06-03 22:46
 5  
 6  i've had this feeling of being sorta like a parasite lately. especially when it comes to romance/emotional support, i require someone there to be a bedrock. who this person is varies from time to time, but i do sorta always need someone. I've been thinking about this since I was finally able to hear what Soumya was saying about "us". i noticed that i started to get restless/frantic after and perhaps subconsciously was the reason i wasn't able to hear her for so long, because I knew that if i did really hear her i would have to start scrambling again. 
 7  
 8  and then last night i cheeckily, but also absent mindedly said 'love you, night' to [[Pearl]] and that was a big no-no. in hindsight it was stupid thing to do, and she was worried that i was in love with her, which i am most certainly not, but i think its related to that similar necessity of a "bedrock". i think i wrote earlier about how i was still salty what happened, and i told her as much, but after telling her that i wonder how much salt remains. its hard for me to identify currently. 
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11  = Backlinks =
12  
13  - [[230524-2318|The Canberra Trip]]