1  %title 
 2  :jrnl:
 3  %date 2023-04-25 15:40
 4  %update 2023-04-25 15:55
 5  
 6  Don't know what to do with myself. Been super moody all day. So I don't really want to do anything, which generally means, sitting on my computer, but I don't want to do that either. Or at least, I don't want to spend all day at my computer. I just got out of the shower, which certainly helped. I feel like I should work out or something, like go for a climb or a ride, but it's been raining so I don't really want to, and finding the motivation to go is tricky when I'm feeling this way. I got rejected from MaxMind first thing in the morning, and just yesterday I was thinking about how I was sort of banking on that to come through. Now I'm back at square one, and it feels miserable. Which is certainly part of why I've been in this zone.  
 7  
 8  The other thing is that lately I've been feeling more and more distant? maybe. Particularly notice it with Parul. I want to be better and be there for her (she's been having a moody day too). At least I notice it this time, even if it isn't strictly an improvement... 
 9  I think it's more true generally too. My social battery has been quite low of late. I've been wanting to isolate more and more. But I'm also out of practice at being alone. Like sure, I can still spend hours on my computer doing random things, but it's different to the recharging feeling of being positively alone. I don't know what to do about it. My attitude and sesh-o-meter has been 📉 reaching all time lows. 
10  
11  I've also been developing allergic reactions to something, and it's been driving me mad. Luckily, it's been good today and didn't happen, but a couple nights ago I couldn't sleep at all, just had to keep itching myself. On my face, legs, hands, everywhere. It was unbearable 
12  
13  I suppose I should read or something. The weather makes me want to take a nap. I think I'll try sort more of my clothes out
14  
15  = Today I am grateful for =
16  - Not going to the beach
17  - Scheduling dinner with Cammy 
18  - Meditation helping to calm my nerves
19  - Not getting allergic reactions and being insanely itchy today
20  - Imoh being around