1  %title 
 2  :priv:sleep-writing:
 3  %date 2023-08-10 00:28
 4  %update 2023-08-10 00:40
 5  
 6  I'm feeling pretty confident I won't be able to sleep until I get the words that are rattling around in my head out of it. For one, I'm thinking about how annoying it is that I'm trying to update [[curve]] but it's installing like 5 different kernels, and so it takes up the entire `/boot` partition and now I can't upgrade... Ugh. :nix: come on, you were supposed to solve these problems. I guess not really. I would love to figure out why I need several different kernels and initrd instances but who the hell knows. 
 7  
 8  The other thing that's been rattling around my brain is work stuff. How I feel good about only charging Ilya the hours I have worked, and trying to make out the rest. We had sprint planning today, and Ilya did call on me about not having enough work. But I did have a few things, they just weren't placed in a sprint. I need to be on top of that now. But I do also only have a handful of things. It's interesting that this isn't the first time i've been called out like that in sprint planning. But more than that, I'm noticing that I do feel at least slightly more satisfied when I do actually do my work. I feel less pressure to also be working on my own thing. Even though there are a few tiny tools that I think would make my workflow easier as a contractor, and of course there's tons of changes I'd like to make to Kitaab and how I process information. But the drive feels different. I'm able to see a bigger picture now, in a weird kind of way. Between :summer-of-nix: (and getting that shout out from Librecast) and Web Recorder, I do feel in some sense, that my contributions are for anybody who wants them? Rather than just for businesses that pay for it. It's a political thing. I'll need to think about that more. 
 9  
10  Since joining and being more active on the Noosphere discord I'm now questioning if being so dedicated to nvim is such a good idea? I like to think so? A similar reason why I'm so dedicated to NIx? It really serves my purposes. idk, I guess I'm thinking (once again) about how we show up in the world? I'm kinda losing the thought. 
11  
12  I should tell Kellie that I'm sorry I never invited her to my farewell. It does keep coming up. I'm not quite sure how to reach her though.